An open letter to retailers:
Hello out there – anyone listening to the consumers? I DO NOT want to buy markers and notebooks and backpacks in July!!!!! I don’t want to see them in your flyers, littering my mailbox with unwanted thoughts of the back to school madness. Your one day only sales that pressure me into buying things long before class lists are ready because now I am wondering: if you are doing this in July does that mean it will all be gone by late August and I will be facing isles of Christmas wreaths and Menorahs when instead I need protractors and pencil cases?
Why when teachers and parents and children have just started to dig toes into sand dunes, are busy splashing in pools, and summer camp has just kicked off for the season, do you think for any reason that we want to be lining up for crayons and calendars?
Do you know what I want to buy now? Bathing suits and flip-flops and fun things that float in the water. You know – all the things that are harder to find IN THE SUMMER than Jimmy Hoffa’s body. PLEASE – stop forcing the seasons to change months ahead of time. Let us, the poor consumers, have a rest. Let us enjoy the sunshine and saltwater for the brief time it lasts.
Trust me, we will be back – we love your ten-cent pencil cases. But we don’t love them until school starts.
Sincerely your very tired and in desperate need of a break from your onslaught of marketing gimmicks (and in need of sunscreen and a beach towel) consumer,