An open letter to retailers

An open letter to retailers:

Hello out there – anyone listening to the consumers?  I DO NOT want to buy markers and notebooks and backpacks in July!!!!!  I don’t want to see them in your flyers, littering my mailbox with unwanted thoughts of the back to school madness.  Your one day only sales that pressure me into buying things long before class lists are ready because now I am wondering: if you are doing this in July does that mean it will all be gone by late August and I will be facing isles of Christmas wreaths and Menorahs when instead I need protractors and pencil cases?

Why when teachers and parents and children have just started to dig toes into sand dunes, are busy splashing in pools, and summer camp has just kicked off for the season, do you think for any reason that we want to be lining up for crayons and calendars?
Do you know what I want to buy now?  Bathing suits and flip-flops and fun things that float in the water.  You know – all the things that are harder to find IN THE SUMMER than Jimmy Hoffa’s body. PLEASE  – stop forcing the seasons to change months ahead of time.  Let us, the poor consumers, have a rest.  Let us enjoy the sunshine and saltwater for the brief time it lasts.

Trust me, we will be back – we love your ten-cent pencil cases.   But we don’t love them until school starts.

Sincerely your very tired and in desperate need of a break from your onslaught of marketing gimmicks (and in need of sunscreen and a beach towel) consumer,

Laura E.

One Bad Fairy

That moment when you know that she knows that you know that she knows.  Confused yet?  Let me try this another way….

Daughter Two: “So, Mom, I’ve been having some trouble with the tooth fairy.”

Me: “What kind of trouble?” (Asked in a sing-song, Mary Poppins voice – ‘cause that’s how I roll)

Daughter Two: “Well I put my tooth under my pillow last night and the tooth fairy didn’t come.  AGAIN.”

Me (feigning surprise): “Oh, you put that under your pillow already? “

I should note that at this point she is glaring at me like something from “Evil Dead” and I am realizing that there is a very good reason that second children have an actual syndrome named after their status in life.  Thank GOD I was a first born.

Daughter Two: “Yes, yes I did.  And once again she is late.  MAYBE she’ll make it tonight.”

Final piercing glare then exit, stage left.

And then I knew.  I knew that she knew that I knew that she KNEW.   We were there – that delicate crossroad in life when the fairy tale ends but no one is ready to say the words.   She knew that the fairy wasn’t delayed because of a volcanic explosion in Iceland that grounded all creatures of flight or late by a couple of days because she had a broken wing.   Uh-huh, before you ask, used them both and few more.  Like I said above – second child syndrome is real for a reason.

So bittersweet is that moment of knowing, for both of us.  Because now I know that she knows that I definitely suck as a fairy.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make some interest payments on an enamel coated dentin blob.

Hula Hoops. Very Proud Of The Queen.

Reblogging this post from Tilly Bud of The Laughing Housewife fame. She is hysterical to read but more importantly, there is a picture of me in this post. Tilly threatened….err…… challenged us to send her a photo of our whereabouts during the opening ceremony of the Olympics. I would like to point out that if the photos tell us anything it’s that Tilly knows ALOT of drinkers so I’m not sure how much of the actual ceremony these folks remember. Here’s to praying she does not post a pop quiz. Cheers!

The Laughing Housewife

No, the Queen was not so impressed by the aging Grace Jones in her PVC outfit at the Diamond Jubilee Concert that she decided to take up hula hooping – though after seeing her as a Bond Girl and skydiver, I suppose anything is possible.  

My title was left as a comment on the post in which I invited you to tell me what you were eating, drinking and doing during the Olympics Opening Ceremony. You responded in your units.  Some of them alcoholic.

Before I get on to that, I want to add three items to my list of highlights:

  • The choir of hearing-impaired and other children who sang the National Anthem so beautifully.
  • The honour guard of 500 workers who had built the stadium.  They lined up in the tunnel as the torch entered.  A wonderful touch.
  • And finally, the news that for the first time, every single one…

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Something Wicked has moved on…

This is the briefest of posts today because I will only be saying this:

Farewell Ray Bradbury, an incredible man whose mind took us, the readers, to the most amazing places.  Heaven’s gain is truly our loss.

Photo from the LATimes (6/6/12)   Below is a link to their article today.

http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-ray-bradbury-20120607,0,5622415.story

Lovely Blog Award

One Lovely Blog Award

Thank you, thank you , thank you to Roberta Gordon, author of  “Gemini Witching: Elements 101“.   It is flattering beyond words when a fellow writer finds one’s work worthy of awarding recognition.   One of the great joys of blogging is the vast network of amazing creatives who inspire, encourage, and share the journey that is our craft.  I feel lucky to have found Roberta on this same path.  One click on Roberta’s name above and you will be magically transported to her realm for a visit with this debut author.

The rules of this round of recognitions are as follows:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them.   Check.
  2. Share 7 things about yourself                                                    Check.
  3. Nominate 15 (or so) other bloggers you admire.                        Check.

Here are a few things about me:

  1. I have more notebooks than any one person should ever own.
  2. No matter where I move (and I move a lot), I end up with AWESOME neighbors.  It’s some sort of phenomenon for which I am very grateful.
  3. I cannot be part of a writing critique group because I will never stop editing my own first chapters.
  4. I am usually barefoot or in flip flops.
  5. I like the smell of mesquite.
  6. I throw a great party.
  7. When I’m outlining a story I only write with a black pen or a REALLY sharp pencil.  That’s right, I’m talking take an eye out sharp.

Part three of the blog award asks that I nominate some fellow bloggers that I admire.  It’s hard to pare it down to a handful as there are so many incredible bloggers and I am finding more each day.  To be honest, many days it is a struggle not to get lost in reading all of the other blogs instead of working on my own projects.   My read list is growing faster than Santa’s naughty vs. nice checklist.

Some of these bloggers are fellow writers, photographers, business bloggers, and cartoonists. A few are those brave souls who “diary blog”,  putting their innermost thoughts and dreams out there into the blogosphere.   All are great people who share some part of themselves with the rest of us.

And now for (a sampling of) the blogs that I admire:

I pay tribute to the following as each maintaining One Lovely Blog   

 Vanessa Grassi

Brian Gaynor Photography

The Blonde Coyote

Maze a Day

Lea and Jay**  I’ve road tested some of their recipes – OMG.  You…must…go….there….and….cook!!!!!!

The Laughing House Wife

40 is the new 30

MoonWynd Studio

BA Expat

Kerry Stanley

Kathy’s Thoughts

Moths to a flame

The 4am Writer

PhotoBotos

 

 

 

 

A word or 270 about Draw Something….

I have a pressing issue that can wait no longer to be discussed.  Draw Something.  Are you familiar with this smart phone app?  It’s a slightly addictive game that is basically worldwide Pictionary© on your phone/ipad® and I have a problem.

Am I the only one who gets a little twinge of sadness when someone exits a game?  Am I alone in my quest for better words because, let’s face it, how many times can one draw a penguin, an igloo, and that weird cartoon girl with the big yellow bow?  And how many uncomfortable times do we have to watch people try to draw something for the word lick? Ick…..

I would like to direct this next portion to the nudgers out there – and you know who you are. Do you think that I spend so many hours crafting carefully drawn depictions of household items for my benefit?  Or to avoid writing?  No people, it’s all for you.  I certainly am not hoarding points so that I can expand my color palette to every hue of the rainbow for my own sake.  It is simply because I want your guessing experience to be as rich and enjoyable as possible.    That’s right, I do this for YOU!

So please, don’t NUDGE me when I have to step away from the phone to conduct the rest of my life.  And don’t JUDGE me when my drawing of the Eiffel tower comes out resembling more like the leaning tower of Pisa.

This game means something to me – it means being there for YOU.  You’re welcome.